Tore my sails and broke all my oars.

There is something familiar about feeling sad and accepting a fall apart. I've been striving to live day by day. Sometimes, it's just me, a pen & paper, Van Morrison and thoughts of you.

Vulnerable in the Workplace

Growing up Mom used to call me the rec director. I always had to make grandiose plans. I needed to know what time events would occur. I would make lists. I would write down my thoughts. I would organize every desire, outside of my avalanching closet, to something that made sense. 

Thus far in my professional and educational experience, these qualities have done well by me. This is not to say I have gotten by without challenge. I worked with a Senior Buyer at Target that stretched me to my max. He expected quick, definitive perfection. He had immense experience and made sure that I knew that I did not. However, he depended on me in a sense that he put forth the trust in me that I would either succeed with shining colors or fail miserably. The decision was up to me. 

Although reaching the conclusion to succeed meant crying for my first time at work, making life more about work than hobbies and wondering if he had a healthy relationship with his children, what came out was monumental respect. I respected the push to be my best and sacrifice nothing when it came to delivery. I grew. I adapted. I finally released my breath when we shook imaginary hands with a mutual conclusion. 

My coworkers and I used to crawl to happy hour like starving victims ready for a release from our day to day hunger pains. I wasn’t sure what I was hungry for, but when I made the announcement to leave my cubicle for a hard wood floor and a yoga mat, I was greeted with a lot of, “wow, what a change in worlds- high stress to none at all.”

Stress is what you make it, but I now understand why every interview I’ve ever had has asked me if I have management experience. Managing multi-million dollar accounts to managing Vinyasa relationships is like going on a permanent vacation with 50 passionate, intellectual lovers. Sometimes it’s paradise and sometimes you have to look your situation in the face and say, “what can we learn from each other?”

In yoga, we end every class with “Namaste” which means “the light and teacher within me honors the light and teacher within you.” As a result, we are acknowledging that every person we encounter is an opportunity for growth and education. This is exciting and terrifying because it means that we are perpetual students. I think this is important to acknowledge when working professionally alongside, what was it that I put in my last cover letter?, “a variety of different personalities.” Thank your choice of higher power that none of us are the same because if we were, we would all run the same businesses, fall in love with the same people and those of us with a thirst for variety would be eternally depressed. 

This year has been my launch pad. I’m ready for what is coming and I’m excited to see what comes of the challenges and the balance of making a career out of your passion. As my favorite lift operator once said, “Go Fast. Take Chances. Safety Last.”