Chelsea the Grouch and Other Managerial Lessons

I remember sitting at my desk in corporate America and thinking, “I refuse to let them convince me that my emotional investment in this business is a flaw.” In the way many children learn lessons later in life, I now know they were right.

I recently took a leadership workshop that preached that we need to remove our investment in other people’s space. What is your business vs. “their” business. As an analyst and even more so as a manager, this is my biggest challenge. A psychologist once asked me why I thought it was a defect that I felt more deeply. Well, it’s partially a defect because it’s not my business how many people bought turkey roasters in 2012. It’s not my business as a manager to make decisions for the shining stars that I manage or may eventually manage. It’s not my space as a friend to force judgments or opinions but simply to hold my life partner’s spaces. I’m starting to understand this now.

My mother is an amazing leader professionally, but the relationship I respect the most that she managed is her relationship with me. I used to get incredibly frustrated with my mom for not offering me her opinions on grandiose plans of mine. Shudder…flashback to 15-24 year old Chelsea… “Why the hell won’t you tell me what to do?!?!” Her response? “because I know you will make the right decision. You always do.” How did she KNOW? She didn’t…but she thrives off the fact that I would learn from my own decisions and not her own opinion or what she wanted. The best gift my mother gave me was to let me follow my own path and to hold that path in a loving and supportive manner. These are the qualities of a true leader. Thanks for not micro-managing, mama.

As the workforce manager that actually pays the bills, my mom says, “I grow leaders. If this is what you aspire to be, then I will help you get there.” In my current career I have the beautiful, yellow brick road opportunity to bring this motto to life. The teachers and students that surround me all have ambitious goals. They will find their path without my opinions, judgments or beliefs. My consistent goal as a manager is to hold their space in silence, make tough umbrella decisions when needed and if this is where you aspire to be, then I will help you get there.

 

 

The 14,000 Vertical Ft Lesson Plan

It seems to me that mid-twenties are all about seeking destinations. I spent a week this summer back in Minnesota with tight knit friends that transformed within my 7 month absence to engaged couples, parents, and co-habitants. Walking through my old office skyways, I was consumed with anxiety over my own personal deadlines. Oh dear, I ran off to the mountains and now I’LL NEVER FIND LOVE OR MONEY OR MAKE FRIENDS OR GIVE BIRTH. Don’t smirk females…you’ve been there.

I came home and decided to get over my fear of commitment, kick ass and take names. That’s when my anxiety dove back in like a significant other that tore apart your insides who randomly shows up at the coffee shop down the street when all you were looking for was an afternoon caffeine kick. Naturally, I decided to take my anxiety as high as I could which happened to be 14,200 feet.

Readers, my journey started at 5:30am with two new friends and one old. We began hiking for two hours on the wrong mountain. Hah, isn’t adventure a bitch. But naturally, it wouldn’t be adventure if it was expected.  Ok, so we are now at 7:30am and we are hiking up the planned 14er and I’m feeling good, ready, ambitious.  Halfway up and my lungs are gasping, glutes feel acidic and knee caps are flipping me off. I’m mumbling profanities and working on motivational quotes when most of our water runs out. That’s when the nausea kicked in and the Clif bar I’m supposed to eat tastes like dog food that has been dried in the Arizona sun for weeks. I sit down and look around. Damn, I’d been moving so fast to one goal I almost forgot to look at the beautiful journey to the top. Needless to say, we made it up and I was so thirsty with altitude sickness that I barely remember the summit.

Okay, what have we here? This blog often revolves around love and love, my dears, is not hard. Relationships are hard. The journey is hard. But love, does not need a definition and fortunate for us, love is with you every step of the way. If you are still stuck hiking for two hours before you even reach your mountain then holy shit your opportunities are endless. If you have just reached your mountain and you’re on top of the world, beautiful!, don’t forget to keep looking around. If you’re halfway up then start to notice the magic that surrounds you and how you have a choice to keep moving. Sometimes we reach the summit and it’s not what we planned. That’s when you start to chip away at the debris that began to surround your heart and slowly make your way down. Another mountain is waiting and I bet it will be one hell of a journey.