The ocean and I go way back. Just like so many before me and
surely more to come after, this magnificent body of water became the container
for my escape plans. I still find myself creating these tactics to run and
sometimes I wonder if it will take the right person or the right mind set or if
I am just hard wired for dreaming.
You’ll never find any knock to dreaming on this blog. What
you will find is an exploration of letting go. Finding contentment. Relieving
expectations. My life recently has been an abstract form of art. Maybe not how
I expected it to look, but something intriguing and wonderful has come out of
it. Odd things suddenly fall into perfect placement. Or is it that I’ve given
my life up to the universe and take everything handed to me with a new ease?
A new ease doesn’t mean it’s always easy. If you too have
been genetically or behaviorally designed to run, build walls or hold up your
bicep and say “I can do it!” then read on. We are not flawed, we are merely
curious. Life to me is as questionable as the cosmos and even when I get exactly
what I wanted, I continue to inquire.
Finally, my constant exploration has started to make sense.
I fought for so many years to believe that any form of dependency was weakness.
I now know that this only makes you hard. Allow yourself to give in to the true
desires that vibrate in your core. Just like we do in restorative yoga, give in
to sensation and allow yourself to dive in to the benefits even when you are
screaming like hell from the inside to get out.
Let yourself love. I never had any problem with loving; it
came way too naturally to me sometimes. I mean LET yourself love. It doesn’t
matter if its a person place or thing, let yourself do it. I have the honor this
year of officiating the wedding of two individuals who began to shift my
definition of love when I was 19. Today I received some of their thoughts on
love and marriage. I asked them how they knew he/she was the one. They had many
charming reasons, but my favorite came from Corey. “You’re a dreamer, and I
bring you back down to Earth. Someone has to do it.” Whoever. Whatever.
Wherever you let yourself love, let it bring out the best version of yourself.
Do not stop being who you are. Fight fiercely to stay hungry for what makes you
burn brightest. Keep dreaming, but let someone hold your hand to keep you near
the ground.
I am only five months into my budding romance. Lately I have
been feeling out of balance from my “single girl” routine. Less grocery
shopping, more eating out. Less yoga, more play. Less cleaning, more
disorganization. Today I came home to a spotless apartment and my favorite “paper
towel” love note. I’ve been telling him that one person does not give you
happiness, they only fit into that space. He’s not convinced yet, but he’s
willing to try. If I can give in and cry over vacuumed floors and paper towel
love notes, and if he can experiment with my yogic ideals, then maybe together
we will stay hungry.
Are you hungry yet readers?
