The 100mph road to free; helmet suggested.

I gave my stunning new co-worker and friend some relationship advice today. I said, “you wait to dive in to this eminent fight until you can walk in your front door as your most genuine self. You take your ride home to shed the layers that are not you and if words are thrown that cause you to doubt yourself or the things that you want at your core, then you simply walk away. Let go before you even get there.” 

Simple. Let go. I’m 25 going on 26. I’ve been in love a handful of times. I regret no one and nothing I have partaken in under temporary insanity caused by free spirited boys. I am currently single. 

We talk about letting go a lot in yoga. “Let go of what no longer serves you.” “Let go of anything that is not your authentic self.” Sometimes I believe it’s an important reminder to also say, “Letting go can be a son of a bitch, my friends, but on the other side of that hurdle full of thorns is a bright new sky.”

Make sure you jump high enough. 

Have you ever tried to let go of something while you were in the very moment of it? Just days ago I literally sped down a beautiful mountain road holding on to something that didn’t belong to me. I tilted my head back, breathed in the sun and said to myself, “Chelsea, this may be happiness but you will surely find it again. Be free.” 

We tell our sisters to seek only joyful situations. We tell our friends to never settle for anything less than they deserve. We tell our brothers to be given freedom and partnership. We tell our students to follow vibrant paths. But do we tell ourselves?

Do you, reader, tell yourself? If you don’t, then practice the son of bitch art of letting go. Be free. If you’ve known clear as day happiness, you will surely find it again. 

25 going on 15

Gwen Stefani said it best towards the end of my high school career… “Take a chance you stupid hoe.” I’ve recently improved my terms of endearment to contain much more positive verbiage, but I’m still on the lookout for someone to call my all time favorite, “darling.”

Due to a chemical imbalance, I actually do believe in fairy tales. It happens. Sometimes in small doses. Sometimes in five year stints. That doesn’t mean some boys with really good aim haven’t used my heart as target practice. That also doesn’t mean that we aren’t still beauties that just need to sleep for a while until woken up by the right kiss. 

That is some fluffy shit, I know. The truth is, I am 25 going on 15 and I don’t know if this will ever change. What I can tell you is that some of my favorite women grew up wishing for a loving family and a humble husband and some of my favorite women grew up wishing to be that mysterious woman in a big hat prancing around Marseille. Neither fairytale is right. Neither fairytale is wrong. It is all about the chapters that lead up to happily ever after. 

This is where your challenge comes in. Do me a favor, right now. Take your definition of “happily ever after” and throw it out the nearest window. Flush it down the nearest toilet. Go outside, open your arms wide and lift your heart to the sky and make a promise that you will learn. to. Trust. Once you’ve done this, you can stop following the yellow brick road and simply be, Happy. Sometimes being happy means taking risks to feel a freedom in your heart. So there you have it. Take a chance, you stupid hoe. 

If you miss the first wave, best bet another one is coming.

I’ve been searching in the tinted helmets that fly by on Broadway to find you. Every one that drives past is a new adventure that pulls the clutch and speeds right through my chest. 

I’ve been a professional at practicing what I preach this year. I stopped dreaming and started doing. This doesn’t mean all answers were found. I waited in line yesterday on the corner of college and 13^th, looking down, probably seeping in social media. When I looked up, I noticed the people around me. I really noticed them. I wanted to know them. I wonder how many people pass us by as we’re looking down thinking about the wrong ones.

Today I will take on the challenge of not dwelling on the past. I challenge you the same. Those perfect nights of bliss are all building blocks for your own heart. It doesn’t take another person to answer your life long search for the secret of life. The present moment is always with you and thank goodness for us, it’s there all the time. Take advantage. If you miss that first wave, best bet another one is coming. 

Soul Searching in 1 BR Apartments

I sat on the patio of a café on Pearl Street in Boulder, Colorado when I was 21 years old. It was Spring Break and I had just recovered from a failed ocean escape to the farthest college South I could find that forced my long term boyfriend to body surf alongside me. My heart felt heavy that day because I knew that one day I would have to live in this state- and particularly that town. It seemed so far away and impossible. 

This week, I started my first week as yoga studio manager in Boulder, Colorado. 

The “work” aspect of my job has been coming along great. I will be supported, challenged, motivated and forced to brilliance. The “lifestyle” aspect of my job has been moving along like my heavy heart when I left Colorado that year of 21. I’ve been apartment searching.

Apartment searching is a form of cruel and unusual punishment that causes you to evaluate every portion of your life from your monetary success to your social life to your ability to care for another individual. In this case, this individual being Montego the cat. I have been battling with rent prices, my desire to live alone, my yearning for my Monday-Sunday social life in Minnesota and my need to step into my new abode and look at my 21 year old self and say, “see, Chels. We did it.”

I’ve heard a lot of inspiring chatter since I’ve been in this town which has eased my living situation anxiety. I’m working in a college town, so naturally many relationships are on the rocks. Just yesterday, someone at my front desk in their early 20’s said that he is so lucky to even have a lover in this world, however, she needed to go off and travel the world and experience things differently. Now he recognizes that everywhere he goes there are new friends to be had. Please baby, teach me something. 

Just yesterday one of my co-workers reminisced about her 30^th birthday this past weekend. She said this birthday was a high for her because she is no where she expected to be at 30. Oh, I know all about this. 25, I was going to be running my own business, married with a couple pets and making dinner while dancing to reggae music with my wildly spirited lover. Damn, that still sounds good but my point here is- my coworker said, “Thank God I’m not where I thought I would be when I turned 30.” 

Yes, thank god we aren’t where we thought we’d be because although I’ve landed in Boulder, Colorado and I am inspired with every step I take, there are new friends to be had everywhere I go. If I was where I thought I would be, then I certainly wouldn’t be where I am now. Where are you now readers? Let that be enough. 

An old, dear friend told me the other day that he missed highschool. The simplicity. The carefree lovers. The unanswered ventures. I said honey, now you have a checklist for all the things you will look for today. Don’t count on anyone else. The time is now.