Emotional Artwork

Sierrah tells me to be kind to myself and avoid using personal adjectives like “psychotic.” She’s right. Must we place judgement on our emotions and complete that judgement with a label? Let’s talk about what it’s like to be a little bit of a mess upstairs, because no matter how hard we try to step our personalities into 5” pumps and slap on some cherry red lipstick every day- some days the mascara does run. 

I spent the majority of my social life as “one of the guys.” Even if I absolutely lost my mind in emotion, I was greeted with a pat on the back and a “get over it, Chels.” As one of the guys or any feline brave enough to date one of the guys, then you are constantly told not to be “Crazy.” “But man, every girl is crazy!” I can hear the tenor chorus now. 

Let me tell you what you gain from absorbing a little crazy into your life. A therapist once told me (well, cats out of the bag there) that I didn’t have to apologize for feeling on a deeper level. If I loved more, had more empathy, felt more joy- then at what loss was I? 

The ugly partner in crime that comes with these deeper levels of joyfulness is the deeper levels of fear, pain, anxiety, sadness. 

I’m still going to tell you, that this is ok. The yoga practice teaches us that light and dark is a beautiful balance. And I can tell you that most people that have really explored their yoga mat have at one point in their lives probably thought that they were positively crazy. I love these people. I am these people. 

When you start to recognize that the emotional owners of your mind, body and soul no longer need to own you, then you begin to explore deeper. You start to push the boundaries of length that you might hover in bliss. You look right into the eyes of your comrades and say, “I am crazy in love. I am crazy in curiosity. I am crazy in witnessing beauty and I am crazy in thirst for a higher life.”

The practice at play is to sit with yourself. Sit with yourself and witness the light and the dark. Feel the influence and beauty of your complexities and instead of attaching judgement, observe. Observe the colors of your life as the most beautiful artwork you will ever create. How boring if our artwork all looked the same. How boring if we never knew the difference. How psychotic. :)

Finding Romance in the Workplace (it's not what you think)

“La mer…Les a bercés. Le long des golfes clairs. Et d'une chanson d'amour. La mer…A bercé mon cœur pour la vie.”

If you feel so inclined, play “La Mer” while reading this entry. It adds to the effect, I promise.

On average, in the United States, we spend 36% of the day in the workplace. Of course this fluctuates significantly based on the role, individual, community, etc. Either way, that’s a selection of your life spent. Why not spend it a little bit more romantically?

To begin with, here are a few definitions of romance: “A strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something.” “A spirit of or inclination for adventure, excitement, or mystery.” “Love idealized for its purity or beauty.”

Now, even the most pragmatic must have found something to relate to up there? Why is romance important in the workplace? To begin with, spending your time on something that is “sometimes short-lived,” fascinating and spurs enthusiasm will drive creativity, skirt stagnation and create transformational practices. When faced with a professional situation where you have lost your spark, the butterflies of creativity have fallen and nearing the next step no longer seems appealing, you are encouraged to move on or find a whole new box to think outside of.

Whether you have worked at a corporation for 25 years or you are on your 1^st year of tenure, re-attach yourself to “a spirit of adventure, excitement and mystery.” This is not naivety due to my age but rather the refusal to settle into immobility. When we seek opportunities for mystery and adventure in the workplace, we are greeted with chances to fuel novel ideas, ask questions and collaborate on items for change.

Both of the above are impossible without connection “idealized for its purity.” Your people. They are the “amour” my friends. Surround yourself with people that compliment your strengths in order to turn up the volume on the fascination and enthusiasm. Strive to get to know your team from a personal and professional level in order to root your daily practice in mystery and every now and then get your mind blown with the diversity within your professional tribe. Delivering a positive work environment where individual passions are encouraged and extraordinary adventures are advised will not only create more profitable businesses but also more contentment. Santosha if you will.

This is the tipping point. Are you ready?

Is the Chateau d’If a fortress or a prison? Depends how you look at it…

Amour-propre vs. Amour de Soi

Let’s be honest. Some days are harder to love your body. That statement is not gender, age or sexual orientation specific. Some days it’s really hard to love your body. Well, I think it’s time that we start a revolution and it all comes down to using your body for what you love and not for expectations. 

I have often used humor to overcome my pockets of self-doubt. I have feigned confidence so often, that my sister was bold enough to twist the knife last week. While waiting in line for a water slide on a day that I was avoiding mirrors at all costs, my siblings and I began to share battle wound stories of scars claimed before. I am usually the 1^st prize champion of these types of assemblies, and mid conversation, my sister says, “smile!” I do, because well, my smile is the most charming version of crooked and she sticks a finger to my lip opposite cleft side and pushes it up to align with the other. Now, I must have reacted because she instantly retracted this gesture with a list of her own flaws and I realized my humor as well as my disgust with the flaw show had sent us on the wrong track. 

It turns out that joking about our scarred faces, bootylicious figures and features that we compare to Tim Burton characters is counter intuitive to those around us that we aim to inspire. Are we not taking a huge step back posting half naked pictures of the lbs. that we shed on social media or nodding along with girlfriends in despair of jeans that won’t zip? What if that sister or brother of yours soaks in all those details on a day that is REALLY hard to love their body?

Don’t get me wrong, be PROUD of body transformations. Be open to humor that avoids personal expense. The world is very realistically our stage these days so let’s take a moment to consider what our playwright is saying about our world. What kind of recognition matters deep down and where can you seek that by living the best damn life that you can? 

I challenge you this. What, to you, is the best damn life that you can live? How will your body help you get there? How can we as a community, inspire each other to be bold, resilient, strong, confident and worthy? Be thoughtful in every piece of bodily language that leaves your beautiful symmetric or asymmetric lips. Be thoughtful of every joke, conversation and photo and instead be a chameleon of passion. Change your mind to suit your passion, not your body. Today it might be hard, but together we are ready.

Starburst, Hockey, and other Life Lessons

Last week I tried these mini Starburst candies that come unwrapped and bagged. There was something about the lack of effort that it took to consume these candies that turned me off. I mean, all of this sugar and gelatinous intake is much more rewarding when there is detailed and chosen work to precede. The payoff is so much sweeter when the effort is there. 

I loathe the fact that I have just used a “Wrigley” product as a metaphor for life, but you have to find the teacher in what you can. Take my brother for example; my brother turns 15 this month and he is amidst a lifestyle change that will allow him to follow his dreams. Dreams? At 15 you may ask? When I was 15 I was playing out a modern Shakespearean tragedy where the heroin kept her tear ducts intact with a magnitude of black eye liner while holding up a cardboard sign that said “anywhere but here.” 

 

My brother is moving to live with a host family that will provide him the means to play for a national youth hockey team. I still remember whispering in my toddler brother’s ear, “this is the secret to life little buddy…you go to the ocean every chance you can get, you dabble in any sport that involves a board, don’t mess with girls and you will play hockey.” Little did I know that through this front tooth shattering sport that my brother would learn and project a sense of humble passion. He would look out for his brothers. He would develop strength and agility of the body and mind. He would experience rejection and, damnit, he would come out better. Through it all, he would maintain an air about him cool as a kiwi (cucumbers are not my thing). 

My brother’s life highway has hills, but so far he has started by foot, been offered a bike, shrugged and said “sure.” Got a flat, enjoyed the freedom from the bike. Hitched a ride, enjoyed the company. The ride ends, he embraces the opportunity for exercise… I’m not alluding to optimism alone, but more to acceptance of the journey. When we dedicate our lives to an activity that fills our soul and the travel is not a steady and manageable incline, how do we stay committed to a balanced and confident life? 

Swami Satchidananda would say, “If you feel bound, you are bound. If you feel liberated, you are liberated. Things outside neither bind nor liberate you; only your attitude towards them does.” This concept of course becomes a greater challenge when personal loss, self-worth, career or relationship comes in to play. Practice with me. Practice one “set back” at a time. If you didn’t make the team in this situation of life; how will it make you better?  How will you decide to protect your brothers and sisters? How will you inspire yourself through this experience to strengthen your body and mind? And through it all…how will you stay as coooool as a kiwi.

Emotional Debt Free, 0% Interest

No one owes us. I remember sitting at the hospital next to my rehabilitating boyfriend senior year of high school for months and when he woke up angry, my mom said, “he doesn’t owe you, Chelsea.” I looked at her as if she just spoke for the first time. Shock. Awe. Wonder. Brilliance. He doesn’t owe me. 

The situations may become more petty, but not always easier when we continue to remind ourselves that no one owes us. I mean this to the most literal sense…you gave someone $5 yesterday, live as if they don’t owe you. You spent 5 years in a relationship that left you in a single bedroom apartment with divided things? Your significant other doesn’t owe you a thing, not even the missing chair to your dining room set. You’ve moved away from your home town? New friends and old friends do not owe you a thing. Anyone, I mean anyone that you’ve done favors, spent time or energy on…these beings do. Not. Owe. You.

Ok, let me explain my broken record. Do everything you do because you crave a higher sense of good. When the time comes that you need something in return, surround yourself with those that also fight fearlessly for health and well-being and subconsciously bring this to you. Know when it’s time to leave something  behind. May every reaction be classy and a true projection of you. Remove disgust, hurt, resentment and guilt rom your emotional repertoire. They tend to spoil things like pride, flexibility and resilience. Be resilient. 

If you begin to live this way, you begin to take control of your own happiness. You are the master of what you project and what you take in. I hope you know, I never once mentioned that this was easy.  If you are projecting much more than you’re taking in right now, then celebrate your abilities and fill your cup wherever you can. And sometimes you have to cry or scream or yell, “SOB!!!!” but…let these moments be minimal. When we free ourselves of those that “owe” us, we open the doors to many other things. Sometimes the things we find instead are most beautiful.