Amour-propre vs. Amour de Soi

Let’s be honest. Some days are harder to love your body. That statement is not gender, age or sexual orientation specific. Some days it’s really hard to love your body. Well, I think it’s time that we start a revolution and it all comes down to using your body for what you love and not for expectations. 

I have often used humor to overcome my pockets of self-doubt. I have feigned confidence so often, that my sister was bold enough to twist the knife last week. While waiting in line for a water slide on a day that I was avoiding mirrors at all costs, my siblings and I began to share battle wound stories of scars claimed before. I am usually the 1^st prize champion of these types of assemblies, and mid conversation, my sister says, “smile!” I do, because well, my smile is the most charming version of crooked and she sticks a finger to my lip opposite cleft side and pushes it up to align with the other. Now, I must have reacted because she instantly retracted this gesture with a list of her own flaws and I realized my humor as well as my disgust with the flaw show had sent us on the wrong track. 

It turns out that joking about our scarred faces, bootylicious figures and features that we compare to Tim Burton characters is counter intuitive to those around us that we aim to inspire. Are we not taking a huge step back posting half naked pictures of the lbs. that we shed on social media or nodding along with girlfriends in despair of jeans that won’t zip? What if that sister or brother of yours soaks in all those details on a day that is REALLY hard to love their body?

Don’t get me wrong, be PROUD of body transformations. Be open to humor that avoids personal expense. The world is very realistically our stage these days so let’s take a moment to consider what our playwright is saying about our world. What kind of recognition matters deep down and where can you seek that by living the best damn life that you can? 

I challenge you this. What, to you, is the best damn life that you can live? How will your body help you get there? How can we as a community, inspire each other to be bold, resilient, strong, confident and worthy? Be thoughtful in every piece of bodily language that leaves your beautiful symmetric or asymmetric lips. Be thoughtful of every joke, conversation and photo and instead be a chameleon of passion. Change your mind to suit your passion, not your body. Today it might be hard, but together we are ready.